Friday, April 1, 2011

Abracadabra: Autism Awareness Month

"I wouldn't change a thing about my child with autism."

Have you heard that before?

Maybe I've even said something along those lines.

But it's not true.

I love Brian so much.  I can't even try to put that love into words.  My heart honestly expands against my chest when I think about how much this little boy and his brother mean to me.  They are my world.  They are my sunshine.  They are my heart and soul.  They are my everything.

But I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wouldn't change a thing.  If I got my hands on a magic wand you better believe the first thing I'd wave it at would be autism.  It wouldn't even take a moment of thought.  No hesitation at all.  

I'd do it for selfish reasons- more sleep, no more cleaning up poop, my finances would be in a better order, more time to myself, less anxiety for myself.

I'd do it for Corbin.  He wouldn't have to have those feelings that he is second-best behind some diagnosis he still can't pronounce correctly.  He wouldn't have to worry about his little brother and be braver than his years to stick up for him.  He would have a real playmate.

Mostly I'd do it for Brian.  I'd do it for his past, his present, and his future.  I would want to take away all the pain- the physical affliction, the mental anguish, and the emotional pain.  I'd do it so he could talk and tell me where it hurts, what he wants, and what his dreams are.  I'd do it so he could make connections and wouldn't feel so alone in this world.  I'd do it so people would accept him and understand him and start looking at who he really is, not just what his diagnosis is.

I've noticed there is a big divide in the autism community between those who say we need to raise awareness and those who say we need to raise acceptance.  I don't see why we can't have both?  I don't see why I can't say I would wave that magic wand to rid my son of autism and still be a mom that accepts her son, autism and all.  Because I do, I accept him and cherish him and love him to pieces.

Today marks the beginning of Autism Awareness Month.  I don't have that magic wand, but I do have the power to advocate so his, and thousands more, future will be brighter.  No matter what camp you are in- biomedical, ABA, vaccinate, don't vaccinate, etc., etc.,- we all need to unite and realize we are all working on the same thing- a brighter future for our children with autism.  A united voice will be so much louder than a bunch of different, fragmented ones.

Happy (?) Autism Awareness Month!!


Kelly said...

Beautiful post. I agree completely. Do I love my monkey men? You betcha. Would I hesitate ine iota to give them (and us) a typical life? Not even one second.

Happy(?) Autism Awareness Month - and a big hug to you for being a kick-butt mommy.

Lana Schuhmacher said...

Wonderful post, exactly how I feel. I would give up anything if there was that magical wand/pill, etc that would take the autism away. As much as I love my daughter, I hate the autism and all that goes with it. She is so much more than her autism, but that is the only thing that comes through day to day.

bbsmum said...

Nicely put.

natalee said...

you my friend are a true hero ...i love this...( we all wore blue today to mark the beginning ...... of awareness month) hugs

TheRealDaniG said...

so great and so honest. I'm totally with you on this. xxoo

autismarmymom said...

I guess that we are not supposed to admit to this, but I'm with you. I couldn't love her anymore than I do, but if I could wave it away I would.

Christina said...

Beautiful, honest post! I'm also a bit annoyed by the people that are bashing "Awareness" month, saying we need to take action instead. Again I say why can't we have both?? And just because I'm trying to raise awareness, does not mean I'm in cahoots with Autism Speaks!! I'm doing it for the amazing children and the inspirational mothers I know, not any organization!!