The Positive Side of the Party

I don't want to linger on the difficulties when it was really a wonderful day for the boy that it was all planned for- Corbin! He had so much fun and it was great seeing him interact with his new friends from school. He recieved a bunch of Bakugan toys, legos, science stuff, and learning books (all things he asked for) as well as some other great gifts! I think everyone agreed that laser tag was the most fun activity- as the grown-ups also played with the kids. One might argue that the grown-ups had more fun actually lol.

Some pictures to share Corbin's SEVENTH birthday!



{{socializing with friends.}}















{{bri stuffing his mouth with cupcake.}} {{spinning the wheel.}}














{{checking out his cake.}}















{{blowing out the candles.}} {{kung-fu fighting card.}}












{{bakugans and lego star wars video game. perfect.}}

Brian and Jokers Do Not Mix

It's been awhile since I've worried about bringing Brian to a crowded event. Sure he doesn't do wonderful at most events but he does okay, he's able to hold it together for quite a while.
Yesterday we went to Jokers for Corbin's birthday party. Jokers is like a Chuck E. Cheese only bigger and better. There is laser tag, a HUGE playhouse, a ferris wheel, bounce house, arcade games, and more. And it was crowded. Extremely crowded and extremely noisy.
First thing Brian ran into the playhouse. He really enjoyed it and was able to maneuver through even the trickiest areas. After a half hour in the playhouse our hostess brought the pizza. Getting Brian out of the playhouse was a struggle, but still not a meltdown. Everyone ate pizza and then Corbin started to open his presents. That was when the meltdown started. He was done eating pizza, he wanted to back in the playhouse. It was a full angry meltdown. Screaming and I couldn't get him to calm down. Usually I can squeeze him, sing to him, rub his back, something to calm him down. It wasn't happening. Josh's neice offered to bring him back in the playhouse and then he was good.
They came back just in time for the cake. Brian stuffed in one of his cupcakes I brought for him and then again just started screaming because I wanted him to wait for everyone. I again couldn't get him to calm down. I looked around and thought, the bathroom is probably the quietest place. I bring him in and he is still screaming and wriggling out of my arms like I'm abusing him. He gets away from me and runs full speed into a stall that was occupied. I pulled him out, apologizing to the occupant. I sit on the floor and finally get him to calm and ask him if he is ready to go back, he replies, "Ready".
We go back out and he waits with me nicely for me to hand out tickets and tokens to all of the kids. I then let him go into the playhouse again. While he is in there I decide maybe I'll go around and try to play some games. I just put in my first token into a game and I see Brian running around the grounds of the building SCREAMING, tears running down his cheeks, and holding his hands over his ears.
I run after him and he doesn't even want me to touch him. I am trying and trying to calm him and he is not having it. Everyone is staring. I carry him over to the bounce house and the attendant is trying to stop him from just running in and he isn't having it. I let her know that he has autism and he is extremely overwhelmed, she immediately steps away and lets me take over. We both climb into the bounce house.
Luckily, it was empty- so it was just the two of us. He threw himself onto the floor and started rolling around, kicking his feet, and just crying, not letting go of his ears. I actually lay on top of him and whisper in his ear. I could feel the tension start to leave his body. I rolled off of him and laid next to him and we just laid there in silence for a few minutes.
We got out and held hands and walked out. He was able to hold it together for the last 45 minutes of the party, after he got over that hump, but it was definitely not a place that I plan on bringing him to again any time soon.

Seven Years of Being A Mom

Today my oldest child turns seven. How does time fly? I ask him over and over to please stop growing but he is not heeding my advice. He tells me he loves to learn and learning makes him grow and he just can't stop learning. He is such a smart, sensitive, personable, funny, kind little boy. I am so proud of his growth and even though I ask him to stop growing I am looking forward to watching how he changes and grows.
Is a sad moment for me as we always have birthday breakfasts with blowing out candles and opening one of your presents. I had an anatomy and physiology lab this morning and had to leave my home around six am. Josh is under strict directions to follow through with our routine and take a lot of pictures. Hopefully he had a great morning!

Halloween Snacks

I made these delicious Halloween snacks for Brian's party at school. By the way, his teacher asked all the parents to bring in gluten-free/dairy-free food. I was impressed!
I melted down Enjoy Life chocolate chips and dipped Ener G sesame seed pretzel rings into the chocolate. I then covered them with Halloween themed candy sprinkles- Betty Crocker brand.
Simple, easy, and very yummy!

Help Me With My Research?

This is a call going out to all my fellow parents whom believe, actually who know, that vaccinations played a part in their child's autism. I have decided to do my big end-of-the-year paper for my English class to be based on the hypothesis, "Our current vaccination schedule is unsafe for some children and that it has played a part in the rise of autism".

For a good research paper I need to have resources that are unbiased- I'm going to be using fourteenstudies.org, which we all know is biased BUT they provide all of the key studies that researchers keep claiming show that there is no link between vaccinations and autism. So where the site is biased the information provided is not, in my opinion.

I'm also using the book, Healing the New Childhood Epidemics, by Dr. Kenneth Bock. Again, this book is biased as Dr. Bock truly believes in what we all believe. But he gives his information in the book very scientifically and matter-of-fact.

I really need one more good resource- that can't be contrived as biased at all. I've been searching the web but it is sometimes so hard to sort through the millions of sites there are. If anyone knows of a really good site please comment or email- hstclair@kvcc.me.edu.

Thanks!

Sensitive Soul/Sensitive Stomach

I woke up this morning to hearing someone in the bathroom. I could hear Brian laughing in his bedroom so I knew it was Corbin. After quite a while I went in to check on him and I asked him what he was doing. He replied he was throwing up- I looked into the toilet and really only saw what I thought looked like spit. I told him to go lie down in my bed. I laid down with him and cuddled and said the line, "What's up kid?"

He was quiet and said, "I don't want to tell you this." I reiterated to him that he can tell me anything. He then told me that no one wanted to play with him yesterday at the afternoon recess. I asked him if he thought he was throwing up because he was sick or because he was worried no one would want to play with him today. He said, "Because of recess". I then thought- okay he's making himself throw up. This is not good. I mean, I remember pretending to be sick, but I was a tween/teen with all those hormones going on and my boyfriend of a day broke up with me or something ridiculous like that. But not when I was seven.

Later, when we decided he would go to school, he threw up again. He turned around and said, "This is so weird Mom. I usually throw up when I see something disgusting but I don't see anything disgusting, I just feel upset." I saw him throw up this time- sure, it was just the water that he had drank but it really didn't seem like he was forcing it to come up- that it just did. Corbin has always had an extremely immature gag reflex- he's thrown up at seeing smashed pumpkins outside, from driving past the town dump on a really hot, stinky day, from mixed up food scraped off into the garbage. And Corbin is also very sensitive. Words don't bounce off of him- he's too much like his Mama, I'm afraid.

Later when we were walking out the door Corbin looked up at me and said, "Mom, I think I need to go see a scientist." I asked why and he replied, "Maybe they can figure out why I throw up?" Poor thing. So, I'm hoping today goes better for him.

What about the lasts?

As parents, we can't wait for all those firsts with our children. The first step, the first word, the first time they sleep through the night (my personal favorite). But what about the lasts?
Think about it. There is going to be a day when you can't scoop up your crying child into your arms because they are too heavy. There will be a time when your son won't want you to kiss him goodbye right in front of his friends. Don't you wish you would know when that exact last time was going to be, so you could cherish every second of it?
All parents concentrate on the firsts. But parents with children who have disabilities really linger on them. Why? Probably because we wait so much longer for them. We have to work so much harder for them. They don't come naturally. There is a lot of tears and heartache and sweat behind many of the firsts.
The upside to this battle? I get those lasts. I get them drawn out. No time soon will my kindergarten boy push his mama away. He lives for the physical contact. He craves the deep pressure hugs. I am his security blanket in this world that he has such a hard time figuring out.
This whole train of thought came to me this afternoon while Corbin, Brian, and I sat under a blanket on the couch reading books. Corbin was next to me while Brian was lying in my lap. I soon noticed his breathing had become very regular and he seemed a bit more limp. I leaned forward slightly to see his eyes closed and his mouth gaped open with a slight trace of drool in the corner of his lips. I looked at his sweet face. I traced the line of his cheek with my index finger. It had been awhile since he had fallen asleep on my lap. In fact I'm not sure if I could put a finger on the last time he had done so. So, I laid on that couch with him for a good thirty minutes. I wanted to cherish it. I don't know if it will be our last.