Saturday, February 12, 2011

Never Thought

I never thought Brian wouldn't have a bruise on his forehead from banging his head on the wall repeatedly throughout the day.............it's now been three years since he has participated in self-injurious behaviors.

I never thought I would get Brian to eat new foods when I changed his diet............now he's licking asparagus and eating hamburgers without dissecting them first.

I never thought Brian would sing a song, I laughed when one of his speech goals was to fill in a word in a song.......now he knows around 20 songs.

I never thought Brian would take his supplements without screaming, kicking, and spitting......now he takes them independently.

I never thought Brian would sleep through the night, just one single night.......now he's doing so 85% of the time.


I never thought Brian would be able to attend birthday parties without needing to leave early........at the last one I had three other people remark to me about how well Brian did.


I never thought Brian would learn the alphabet.......not only does he know them, he knows the sound each letter makes.

I never thought I'd see Brian participate in the activities of a school event........tonight I watched as he allowed himself to be blindfolded and spun so he could pin the arrow on the heart.

I never thought I'd hear Brian say "Mama"..................and I cried so hard when he first did.


When I get down, when I think that I'll never have a real conversation with Brian, or that he will never make a meaningful relationship with a peer, or he will never get a grip on all the academic stuff, I have to stop myself and think about all the other things I thought would never happen.

Like one of Brian's favorite scripts, "Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming".

20 comments:

Apples and Autobots said...

It's so important to keep the big progress picture in focus. Great post.

Kathy said...

Your right--"Just keep swimming." How great that you can quantify so much progress. I am so happy for you.

bbsmum said...

I never thought BB would say "I love you", but he did. He was 17. It was worth the wait.
Lovely post.

bbsmum said...

I'm linking to this in my next post ... hope you don't mind. (Just seen the verification captcha - it's "sussess' which I'm choosing to read as "success" because I'm feeling cheerful now thanks to you!)

sharon said...

Beautiful post.

Dani G said...

Never thought I'd be so thrilled to hear about the progress of kids I didn't know; Never thought I'd share so much with people I'd never met; people I'd come to call me true friends :)
xxoo

Casdok said...

And i never thought i would say its also ok if they dont do these things.

Heather said...

@bbsmum- glad I could help and I can't wait till I hear "I love you" from Brian :)

@daniG- love you :)

@casdok- you are great :) I bet you never thought you'd go clubbing with your son :)

********
No matter how small it is, I think there are things all of us thought were impossible at one point- or just so far off in the future it was hard to comprehend. It's nice to realize the things they've gained, no matter how small, when we're having a hard day.

Brian said...

We're considering some sort of diet changes. What did you do? Why did you do it? What were the benefits? Can you be sure that changes were dietary?

Thanks,

http//brianautismblog.blogspot.com

bbsmum said...

@Casdok Absolutely right! Our children's value lies in who they are, not what they do.

Heather said...

@Brian- I can tell you with all my heart that (my) Brian stopping all his SIB was because of taking gluten out of his diet. He had been seriously self-injurious and within three weeks of taking gluten out he just stopped- from 20+episodes a day to ZERO. Also he finally stopped having diarrhea.

This year we went completely dairy free and soy free on top of hte GF and he has had a spectacular year- I'd like to contribute it to those changes but it wasn't a HUGE drastic change like I saw in the beginning. HTH!

Sarah Bage said...

all of the positives you have highlighted are wonderful xx

Melanie said...

I linked to this too. It really set off a roaring internal dialogue for me. Would love feedback from Moms who understand all to well...

Christina said...

What a great post! It's important to remind ourselves of the challenges they have surpassed when we get overwhelmed by the new ones!

Christina said...

What a great post! It's important to remind ourselves of the challenges they have surpassed when we get overwhelmed by the new ones!

Heather said...

@Brian- I can tell you with all my heart that (my) Brian stopping all his SIB was because of taking gluten out of his diet. He had been seriously self-injurious and within three weeks of taking gluten out he just stopped- from 20+episodes a day to ZERO. Also he finally stopped having diarrhea.

This year we went completely dairy free and soy free on top of hte GF and he has had a spectacular year- I'd like to contribute it to those changes but it wasn't a HUGE drastic change like I saw in the beginning. HTH!

autismarmymom said...

How did I miss this one the first time around? So awesome. This is one that you can keep going back to whenever you get down or feel like there isn't progress. He takes his supps independently? OK, even I remember when he had to be held down!

Heather said...

well i should knock on wood when i brag about things because about two weeks ago he stopped taking them independently and now i'm back to sitting on him lol- but it's like a game to him, because he's not screaming or crying, he's kind of giggling about it...kids....

Karen V. said...

What a beautiful post. I'm glad you chose it.

Tiffany Magid said...

This made tears come to my eyes!