Friday, May 20, 2011

Looking Towards Our Future

Tomorrow I graduate.

I graduate with honors with my first degree of three (I hope).  Sure, my children will probably have families of their own (god-willing) by the time I receive my Masters, but that's what I'm shooting for.

I am damn proud of this accomplishment.  The past two years were hard.  It was hard doing this as a mom, especially as a mom with a child on the spectrum.  It's hard for me to make sure I take time for myself and probably the reason I really pushed myself to succeed was because I looked at this whole pathway as a choice for not only myself, but for my children as well.

They were "my reasons", as I have said time and time again.  I want to do better for them and provide them with more.  I want them to be proud of me and to know how important education is.  I want them to know that no matter how hard things seem in the future, they can push and persevere through it.

I'm so proud of myself that I didn't just allow myself to be a college drop-out.  I dropped out of college when I was 18 because I thought I had this rosy life in front of me.  I was told I would always be taken care of and that if I stayed in college that certain "caregiver" wouldn't be able to be faithful to me (I know- I should have started running right then and there).  I thought I would get to be a stay-at-home mommy and wife.  Well, that didn't happen.

But we all learn from our mistakes.  Life is good now.  Though things in the past have been far from perfect it all led me to where I am now.

It's onwards to a brighter future at this point.  I couldn't be more excited.  And though I often say I do things "backwards", it's exciting to share this very important day with the two people that mean the most to me.