Tuesday, November 11, 2008

apprehension

Tomorrow morning Brian is being sedated for an audiological evaluation. I'm scared. I've been through sedation four times with Corbin- with his heart situation as a baby, for his broken arm, and to have a benign cyst removed from his face. He does so well with sedation- comes out of it perfectly. But this is a whole new experience for Brian- and he has two more sedated appointments coming up in the next few months- one for the dentist and one for allergy testing. I have this gut instinct that he is going to have a hard time with sedation- that he is not going to wake up from it as easily as Corbin. So that's been eating away at me especially since I'm going alone tomorrow.
Then this afternoon another aspect of tomorrow's appointment hit me. I remember from Corbin that they make him a little sleepy with a drink but he is still awake and aware when they take him to the surgery room and I have to stop at the doors- I couldn't go with him. Corbin was cool with it- I could explain to him what was happening and that I will be right there when he wakes up. What is Brian going to think?? He's going to have no idea what is going on, why they are taking him away from me, why I can't go with him...


I don't know if I'm going to be able to be strong enough to see that fear go through him. Brian and I have a very strong bond and I know he's going to react to strangers taking him somewhere without me there. I'm not looking forward to this....at all.

Wish us luck.

5 comments:

Christina said...

(((Heather and Brian))) Good luck!!

minivan driving soccermom said...

OMG, you poor thing, I can't believe you are going this alone! I will say a prayer, hopefully that little drink will have him too high and happy to care (it did w/ Xander), and I will say a prayer that it goes smoothly, and Brian has no problems at all. ((((HUGS))) I'll be waiting to hear how it went.

minivan driving soccermom said...

As for the video, the song is sung by the goo goo dolls, I used windows movie maker that came w/ the computer, nothing fancy...as for the bread mess up, yeah it was a nice reminder that it's working, and we're not doing all this for nothing! I hope tomorrow is better, but I know gluten doesn't just go right out of the system either ugh! It answered my question though, I wondered if I would stick to the diet for birthday parties, and vacation etc etc, now I know the answer is YES lol. Hey how's Brian doing, how was the surgery?

Christina said...

(((Heather and Brian))) Good luck!!

minivan driving soccermom said...

As for the video, the song is sung by the goo goo dolls, I used windows movie maker that came w/ the computer, nothing fancy...as for the bread mess up, yeah it was a nice reminder that it's working, and we're not doing all this for nothing! I hope tomorrow is better, but I know gluten doesn't just go right out of the system either ugh! It answered my question though, I wondered if I would stick to the diet for birthday parties, and vacation etc etc, now I know the answer is YES lol. Hey how's Brian doing, how was the surgery?