Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Wish I Didn't Care.

Last night I was exhausted.

Yet, I was sitting on my bed with both of my boys' binders open in front of me.  You know those binders?  The ones that you keep all of the IEPs, evaluations, medical records, etc. in?  The boys actually have several binders each.  

I wanted to sleep more than anything but instead I was pouring myself into their IEPs....because yesterday was their first day of school.  And everything didn't go as planned.  And I'm tired of being so unsure and apprehensive about their school placement every single year.

I sat there and the thought crossed my mind..."I wish I didn't care".  Sometimes, I really wish I didn't.  Do you know how much easier life would be?  Yet, do you know how much crappier my kids' lives would be?

Well besides some problems with Brian's placement (it seemed as if they wanted to exclude him a bit more than I had planned, but it's fixed) and Corbin's utter dislike for his new classroom.....I guess it was a good day.  Well at least they looked good doing it, right?


AutismWonderland said...

Oh yes - I know those binders! We start school next week and I need to do that too.  I've been putting it off.  But tomorrow - I need to get on it.  I see other parents all the time - parents who truly don't care.  And I know, sometimes I wish I didn't care either. Wouldn't I have so much more free time on my hands?!  But my son would be screwed.  So I'm right there with you - we care.  And our kids will be the better for it.  :D  

Dani G said...

Ugh, the binders, the files on the computer, the space taken up in me brain!!!

Christina said...

I hope things go more smoothly, and Corbin finds some joy in his class!

tania pesce said...

theyre lucky to have a great mom like you! :)

Heather said...

oh yes, the brain space, that is the most missed ;)