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I push when I call the school and email the therapists. I push when I tell them I want frequent updates. I push when I ask for certain evaluations.
I'm definitely a pusher, but sometimes I'm tired of pushing. Sometimes I think pushing isn't making for the happiest of boys. Sometimes I just want to be normal and just enjoy a day with no pushing.
Someone mentioned to me recently that recess time would be the perfect time for someone to really push Brian to make peer connections. I don't agree. I have seen him at recess, he runs around in big looping circles and jumping in every puddle he can find. All with the happiest, biggest smile on his face. Does it make me feel a little sad that he isn't holding hands with peers and making up imaginary games? Of course it does. But he's happy at these moments. In my opinion, he is working so hard at school with academics and the constant push to talk and interact with peers, that he deserves that outside time to just be. To just be him.
School, talking, making friends, EVERYTHING is so much harder for him and really requires much more energy than we give him credit for. I think he deserves parts of his day to just do what he wants and do whatever it is that makes him happy.
So there I said it. I'm not always a pusher, sometimes I'm just a slacker.
What about you? Where do you draw the line of when to push and when to just let it be?
5 comments:
It's such a hard one. They work sooo fricking hard that my kneejerk is always to slack rather than push. Lately anyway. I go through phases. I'll slack and then get a burst of energy or determination because I'm frustrated with lack of progress..she really must wonder WTF is going on during those bursts. I was just pondering this relative to her summer schedule. Pretty soon it's going to be time for me to decide about her ABA hours, summer camps, extracurricular stuff, etc. I'm leaning towards slacking this year. I'm in one of those just let her be and she'll probably learn just as much kind of moods right now. Tomorrow it may be different.
I've been a slacker lately, I must admit. But sometimes I will go through bursts where I have my son read and write and pretend play with me on the floor. We will wheelbarrow walk and do sit ups and jump but mostly, truthfully, I'm a slacker cuz pushing him like that mostly causes minor meltdowns and I don't see extra benefits.
I figure that's what therapy is for 5 days and 40 hours a week. And we can all use our down time. Of course - have to push for all the daily teeth brushed, comb hair, clothes, bath stuff...
You made me think today...you pusher you!
I definitely go through phases too Lyn and it definitely has a lot to do with my energy level and what else I have on my plate at the time.
ITA Karen- especially when Brian was receiving at-home ABA services back in his preschool years- I always thought our time should just be our time without all of the rules and whatnot. We would all be stressed to the max if we just had to work all the time and not have our "down time"...
Heather, one thing I've come to love about your space here is seeing how in tune you are with Brian's needs. You know when to push him and how far, you know when to push on his behalf, and you know when it's time to ease up. And slacker?! You're the un-slacker-est person I know!
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