Anxiety of Preschool

This week has been a hard week for Brian. As you know he doesn't currently have a one-on-one. In the past when his one-on-one was sick he didn't attend preschool but now where the head teacher is now his past one-on-one she wanted to make an exception and allow him to come. I think she feels bad, though I've tried to tell her not to- I knew from the beginning she really wanted a head teacher position. I had my worries about bringing him to the preschool without a one-on-one but the only other option I had was to bring him to work with me everyday which works, but barely. I tend to just watch him the entire time and my other students are deprived of the one-on-one time they usually get with me.

So not only, did he start going to preschool without a one-on-one but the preschool also moved locations over the Christmas vacation so he had all kinds of changes piled on. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I would be dropping him off, where in the past Jen would bring him to school.

Tuesday was his first day. He cried as soon as we pulled in, all the way down the hallway, through the putting away of his stuff, finding his name, writing his name, saying goodbye to me. Clinging on- putting on the major guilt trip most kids do to their parents. I picked him up a few hours later and both of his sleeves- from the wrist all th eway to the shoulder were soaked from him chewing on his shirt.

Wednesday- same crying routine. Refusing to say hi to his teachers. Picked him up and was told Thursday would be his last chance- not because he was being disruptive but because he was trying to eat everything in the classroom- beads, styrofoam, car tires, etc. They were worried for his safety, as am I, without a one-on-one next to him at all times to make sure he's not going to choke on something. (I should mention that we haven't seen any of these PICA behaviors returned at home thankfully).

Thursday- deja-vous with teh crying. Expecting a call all day at work as I told them to PLEASE call me, I didn't care, if the PICA behaviors were the same. Didn't recieve one, picked him up (oh and I have to say every day this week that I've picked him up has just been priceless- the smile, the run to me, the jumping in my arms- I do treasure that part of these days), and they said he actually had a better day and they would be happy to see him on Monday.

Our Case Manager stopped by Thursday afternoon and said she had visited him during the day at school and that he just seemed really lost. Just wandering around the classroom. At snack he threw his bowl into the trash rather than the sink. At circle he walked in a circle during a song while all the other kids did the hand motions. It makes me sad to imagine this and sad that he can't stick to the routine without the constant support of a one-on-one. I'm also so frustrated that we haven't found a new person yet. My child's 30 hours of direct services are now nonexistent and it's not fair to him.


Oh, and I took Brian to work with me today. Pulled into my school's driveway and he started laughing in the backseat. Got out of the van, put on his own backpack, waited, smiling, while I unlocked the school, ran down the hall, hung up his backpack and jumped his way into the classroom and started playing. I think he's definitely having a bit of anxiety about leaving me and just not having the support he needs in his busy "typical" classroom.