Thursday, December 2, 2010

Easy-Going Brother


I'm always being asked how Corbin and Brian get along. What their relationship is like. I can't say anything bad about it. In fact, they get along better than most any other siblings I've seen. I always thought part of it was that Brian was pretty easy going. He usually won't fight Corbin over a toy. He'll follow Corbin anywhere. Granted, ninety percent of the time their play is only parallel. They're each playing their own thing. But they are always in the same room together and respecting each other's space.

Last night, my beautiful, wonderful, sweet three-year-old niece spent the night. The boys love her and she loves them but they really haven't spent too much time together, at least for long periods of time.

As the evening went on I started to hear a lot more "Brian Be Quiet!" when we were all trying to watch Elf and Brian was jumping back and forth, flapping, yelling "Eeee, Eeee, Eeee". In the bath she didn't want him to put the train tracks on the side of the tub (which he does for every single bath) and it was causing some big time stress for Brian. When Brian made a pillow crash pad on the floor next to the couch to do some repetitive jumping, she wanted to lay on the pillows. (DISCLAIMER: Sabrina, Scarlett is absolutely wonderful and don't take this the wrong way! I know how you overreact!)

None of these things are a big deal , but they made me realize how much Corbin does deal with. I just don't see it and maybe he doesn't either, because it's been this way for years now. It's just part of our life.

I honestly don't hear Brian making his loud yelling noises if I'm concentrating on something else. Corbin likes to play Bakugans in the tub but he can do that with train tracks on the side of the tub, because they are just always there, and he most likely barely notices it now. When Brian has set up some sort of deep pressure obstacle course, Corbin just stays out of the way or he joins in.

My original theory of Brian being easy-going may be backwards, I think it's us that have become easy-going. It's us that have just accepted Brian and learned how to continue on with our lives AROUND any oddities or quirks. To some outsiders, this may seem strange or maybe even sad for Corbin. I, on the other hand, think he is learning empathy, patience, compassion, and so much more and it will shape him into a very amazing young man. Brian couldn't ask for a better big brother.

5 comments:

Crystal Jigsaw said...

This is such a great post, especially for parents with autistic children like me. I am just the same; Amy is just Amy, a part of our lives that we just deal with. When her friends come (or my niece who is 5 years younger than Amy) it does a little stressful because we suddenly realise who parallel Amy's universe really is.

CJ xx
p.s. I love that word, parallel.

Dani G said...

Yep, it's amazing how much we've changed to kind of "fit" the ASD.

I love that you're able to recognize these gifts and qualities of Corbin now, when he's young and get to praise him for them! I think he and Brian are better off for having each other: it goes both ways!

Christina said...

Awh Corbin is such a great big brother! I think having other kids around really helps you notice behaviors in your own kids that you never think about otherwise, good or bad.

Dani G said...

Yep, it's amazing how much we've changed to kind of "fit" the ASD.

I love that you're able to recognize these gifts and qualities of Corbin now, when he's young and get to praise him for them! I think he and Brian are better off for having each other: it goes both ways!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

This is such a great post, especially for parents with autistic children like me. I am just the same; Amy is just Amy, a part of our lives that we just deal with. When her friends come (or my niece who is 5 years younger than Amy) it does a little stressful because we suddenly realise who parallel Amy's universe really is.

CJ xx
p.s. I love that word, parallel.