Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Never-Ending Potty Saga

**Warning- for those who don't have young children or children with special needs- you may find some of this really gross and maybe just too much information.**

Two weekends ago we spent most of our day at our family's cabin. As soon as we arrived Brian said, "poop". Our cabin doesn't have running water, it has an outhouse. He got one look of the outhouse and turned around. He said it again about an hour and a half later and we tried again, same result. I'd say about four hours later I find him squatting in his clothes with his little face all screwed up in the telltale signs of he's trying to have a bowel movement. I decided to throw him in the van and drive to my parent's house which isn't too far away. He RUNS into their bathroom, gets naked, sits on the potty, and then says "All done" without doing anything. I try to make him stay and he just screams and cries at me. So we return to the cabin with still no results and tell Corbin we are going to need to make it an early night because we need to get home so Brian can have some peace in his stomach- because by now he's extremely grumpy, which isn't a surprise- he can't feel well.

We drove home, the entire fifteen-twenty minutes he stayed awake but did not have an accident- which made me extremely happy- and he did finally go to the toilet when we got home. It was such a relief for me and for him.

Brian's been having major potty problems at home. He has so many issues around having a bowel movement. Going number one as well as even bed-wetting has been going wonderfully. BMs are a totally different story. He refuses to sit on the toilet seat- we've bought different seats to see if others are more comfy but none of them seem to matter. He can't seem to stop touching "back there" to check if the movement is coming out or not. Hence, yucky fingers that then get wiped on whatever's closest- usually the bathroom sink. He can't have a BM without getting completely naked and he is so upset with me when I try to make him at least keep his shirt on. He hates the feeling of toilet paper so we've started buying flushable wipes which do seem to help a little. He realized that this potty time was his biggest stress and the only time he REALLY gets mad at me.

So he came up with a solution.

He now waits until he is alone, safe, playing in his bedroom. Does his business in his underwear, fishes it out with his hands, puts it in the toilet, then wipes his hands clean on whatever he can- this week it's mostly been his bedroom walls. Usually he doesn't get through all steps without being caught but he sometimes does. It's disgusting- I don't know how much longer I can really handle cleaning up my five-year-old's poop- but I guess I will until I don't have to anymore. Not only can I not deal with it but when he gets caught he knows he's doing wrong and he gets VERY upset, even if I don't say anything to him about it. Crying, hitting his face, stomping his feet. I feel bad for him because I feel that he's trying to do it the right way but just needing to avoid all those sensory issues that he can't deal with. Finally broke down and called our ABA worker's over-seer to see if he has any ideas- though it'll be interesting to see how they help us implement it as he will hold it all day until the minute he's free of his therapists. He only does it when we're at home and it's only family around. He's been known to hold it from 8 in the morning (when he sits down to go but then Amber walks in so he changes his mind) until four in the afternoon- when all of his therapies are finally done. I don't know how he does it- I certainly don't have that kind of control over my body.

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