Sunday, July 11, 2010

My Mini-Me Theory

I get asked the question, "How do you do it?", from other parents on a regular basis. Not only are they asking me how I parent a special needs child but also how I parent without yelling and losing my cool. Honestly, I'm not perfect and I do lose my cool occasionally but it's definitely not the norm for me.

I have this theory about parents who are always fighting with their small children. I believe that parents some times think that their children are going to be "mini-mes" and they don't realize that every child is different and every child has their own unique personality. And not accepting that is the key to all of the conflict.

I was trying to explain this theory last night and I was using Corbin and I as an example. I started it off with "Corbin and I clash all the time" and I got an "awwww", sad sounding reply. It wasn't meant to be sad, I was just being completely honest. It doesn't mean we fight or that I don't get along with my child! It's just that I have accepted (acceptance seems to be a theme this week for me) that he is a strong extrovert and I am naturally a relaxed introvert.

I come home from a long day and I want to sink into my couch and relish silence and check up on my blogroll. Corbin comes home from a long day and wants to jump on me and the furniture and be inches from my face while he chatters about anything and everything that crosses his mind.

I've just learned how to work around that and try my hardest to make sure we are both getting the time we need to feel good. At the most primal level I would think "Omigod! This kid is driving me up the wall!!" but luckily I don't think on that level and know this is Corbin and this is what he genuinely needs to do.

I think if more parents would accept their children for who they are and their sensory needs (something all parents should be aware of- not just us mommies raising kids with special needs) that there wouldn't be so much fighting and a happier household for all.


Lynn said...

I agree...I think the fact that we have special needs kids heightens our awareness of this. We have to accept our kids because their special needs are so fundamentally who they's not like they just have these irritating little habits that we can stamp out with a little effort. So maybe it makes us more accepting overall of typical kids as well...

Christina said...

Thank you for making me think about this.