Lesson of the Day: Be Kind.

"I'm feeling really angry right now," piped up a little voice from my backseat out of nowhere.

So thankful for this big brother.

"Really, what's wrong Corbin?"

"I'm thinking about something that happened at school today."

"What happened?"

"We were sitting at lunch today and 'T' was making a lot of loud noises and a kid at my table called 'T' a 'weirdo'."

"Oh, I'm sorry, that was not nice of him to say."

"I was so angry.  I balled my fists up under the table so he couldn't see and I told him, 'You know T is just like my brother, right?  They both have autism.'"

"I'm very proud of you Corbin for using your words instead of your hands.  Hitting is not okay.  Kids like that usually just don't know better and need to be educated."

"I just felt so angry Mom and now I just want to cry."

My blog seems to have a theme these last few posts.  It all boils down to this: 

Be kind to one another.

Teach your child about differences and how they can still be a friend to someone in a wheelchair, with autism, with down syndrome, etc., etc.

Teach your children that name-calling and bullying hurt people.

Teach acceptance.

Teach love.

Ann Coulter, Let Me Tell You What I Really Think

Ann Coulter:

The whole internet is abuzz today about your twitter post following the Presidential debates.  I know, that as your career wanes, that you are looking for shock value.  That you want to elicit responses, whether it's negative or positive, much like a child starving for attention.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.
— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) October 23, 2012

You can say what you want regarding your right-wing tea-party crazy-talk politics but when you stoop to the position of referring to our President as a "retard" you've gone over the line.

When you use that word, you are degrading an entire population of people, that do not deserve that hate you love to spread like wildfire.

You are insulting my son.

You are hurting his family.

You are disrespecting this beautiful boy.

He is waiting for an apology.  I am waiting for an apology.  A whole community is waiting for an apology.

However, knowing your capacity for compassion and integrity we won't hold our breath.

Sincerely,

A Pissed Off Mom

Thanks to Jillsmo for starting this blog hop!  Join in and share a picture of your child that Ann Coulter is degrading with her immature use of words.

The R-Word

We have taken a break from the Narnia Chronicles at bedtime as we read this wonderful book, Out of My Mind, which is about a young girl with cerebral palsy who can't talk or walk, but believe me she has plenty to say.

It's not a coincidence that this book belongs in our home library.  Of course I picked it out to further my child's understanding of disability, acceptance, and shattering limitations.

Last night, we read the chapter about Melody going to her first inclusion class.  A "typical"child called her a "retard".

I paused.

I almost couldn't say the word out loud but I choked it out and then put the book down.

Corbin looked confused as he knew the chapter wasn't over and I blurted out, "You do know that that word is completely unacceptable and I never want to hear you call somebody that."

Corbin looked a little guilty and asked why it was so bad.  I struggled as I tried to figure out how to explain it to him at his age.

"When people call other people retarded they are making fun of a whole group of people who have no choice about why they're brains or their bodies work differently than ours.  They are making fun of people who are born different."

He still looked confused.

"People that use that word might think your brother belonged in that group.  Some people, who think it's okay to use that word, might someday call him a retard and how would that make you feel?"

Corbin's face scrunched up and he quickly responded, "That would make me feel like I would want to punch them!!"

Instead of taking the moment to teach that violence isn't the answer, I validated his emotions.  That's certainly how I would feel too, I wouldn't act on it of course, but I feel that way every time I feel he's getting mocked or teased.

We teach acceptance in this house.  We teach equality.  We do not teach respect for those that bully, hurt, or degrade those that are different.

We teach that words hurt.

And we teach that the "R-word" is as bad as a curse word. Actually in my mind it's worse than a curse word.

Tell Me I'm Not Alone

Balancing life is so hard.

I hate how easy some Moms make it look to be a working Mom.

I've been working full-time for a little over a year now and it's not getting any easier.

Oh, and I'm a part-time college student.

I've missed so much work over the past two weeks due to children's doctor appointments, busting my nose, my car not starting yesterday, and now Brian coming down with pneumonia.

I am on the brink of tears all the time and having a leak from our bathroom down to our pantry/laundry room this morning just isn't helping matters.

I always put the boys first but I can't help but feel guilty cancelling OT appointments with my "other kids".  As a parent, I know how important it is to have structure and routine and reliability.

There's not enough time, not enough of me, not enough sleep for me to just to be able to breathe.

Maybe next week will bring better luck.  I seem to do okay when it's just the typical day-to-day stressors.

Please tell me I'm not alone.  How do you all balance it all?

Never-Ending.

Conversations at the doctor's office.

Dr. S.: "Corbin, what does it mean when someone says that it's raining cats and dogs outside?"
Corbin: "I don't know."
Dr. S.: "Well what do you do when someone says that?"
Corbin: "I look out the window."

and then...

Dr. S.: "Corbin, I'm going to tell you a joke, okay?  How do you catch a squirrel?"
Corbin: "Umm...with a gun?"
Dr. S.: "Nope, you climb a tree and act like a nut!"
Corbin: (pause) "Ha ha ha" (fake laughter)
Dr. S.: "Did you get it?"
Corbin: "No."
Dr. S.: "Because squirrels like to eat nuts but people can also act nuts."
Corbin: "Ohhh.  Okay." (still not really getting it)

 Mixed with stories of him loving Pokemon but only so he can collect, sort, and line them up in a perfect array on the floor rather than play a game.  Loving legos but never building anything only sorting them.  Mixed with only wanting to read books that list facts, rather than tell a story.  Mixed with having language-processing issues yet a whiz at math and science.  Mixed with getting along with everyone but not really having any close friends yet.  And tons of little itty things....

Gets you a referral to see if your child may have Aspergers syndrome.