Saturday, October 22, 2011

Finding That Balance

Lately I have been submerging myself in work.  I'm so excited about all of the new learning I've been doing that I can feel my neurons doing the happy dance.  The world is starting to make sense to me, I'm starting to make sense to myself, my clients are starting to make sense to me, and most importantly my children are starting to make sense to me.

I feel blessed that I'm working in a position that allows that carryover to happen right here in my very own home.  It makes me ecstatic to think about all of the new things I can try with the boys and I feel refreshed when I can let go of baggage and go at a difficult situation (example: studying spelling words with Corbin) with a whole new outlook.

However, as excited as I am and as much as I  feel like I'm  going to burst at the seams with happiness over this new knowledge, I'm finding it hard to keep my energy level going all day with my clients and come home and have that same energy level for the most two important children in my life.

It's about finding that balance and I'm still searching for it right now.

I come home from work, most nights after 6:00, and I'm tired.  The kids are tired too after a full day of school (where they're being slaughtered with executive higher-learning functions when they aren't ready for it- but that's a whole other post), then they have therapy, or an after-school sport, or if they are lucky just an afternoon at the pond looking at the natural habitat and trading praying mantises for tadpoles.

Then I come home and I have to make dinner.  Then we have to do homework.  Then baths.  Then supplements.  Then bedtime.  Bedtime would be the time that I try to sneak in a little bit of reflex integration...but some nights I'm even too tired for that- because I'm thinking about the dishes I've left in the sink or the group I have to do in the morning or the fact that if I don't do laundry I might not have a clean towel after my shower in the morning.

I know this is still new for me- the working full-time bit and the not-having-another-adult-in-the-house bit- and it will take patience and shifting of our routines to feel really comfortable.

Despite the difficulties it has added to our lives and our routines I don't feel that guilt piece at all.  And that makes me know that I'm doing the right thing.   I know that everything I'm doing is making a better life for all three of us.  I know that everything I'm learning, with the purpose of learning to be a better occupational therapy practitioner, is in turn making us into a better family.  What more could you ask for in a job?

Now that I've rambled, are you a working parent?  How do you make it work for your family?


Julie Coryell said...

Wow!  How awesome to be so happy at your job.  It brings to my mind the saying "If you love what you do, you'll never 'work' a day in your life".  Sounds like you are on the right path.

We transferred to Arizona 6 months ago and I'm not currently working outside the home. The past 3 years I worked as a school nurse.  It was a real challenge for me to work a Mon-Fri job as I had always worked 3 12 hour shifts in the hospital. I really struggled with finding that balance.  I'm not sure I actually ever did.  I do know that the last year I did not really like my job and that made it so much worse. I can't say that I've really found my balance now that I'm staying at home, but I'm working on it.

You are doing an awesome job, keep it up. 

Grace said...

I, too, am a single mom with a full-time job.  I think it is wonderful that you have a job that you find exciting and rewarding.  That is worth a lot.

For me, finding balance is very difficult, but I do my very best to make sure my son does not get the short end of it all.  If that means the dishes sit in the sink overnight, well, so be it.  It happens more often than I'd like to admit.  But in the grand scheme of things, so what?  The dishes are not that important.

Heather said...

So true!  I gave up on having a clean house a long time it worth it if you are taking the only precious time you could be spending with your children mopping the floors instead?

Heather said...

Definitely every switch needs a rebalance!  I know if I am home on a vacation it feels strange to me to be home all day with the kids even though I enjoy it very much and even though I was a SAHM for several years.  

Thank you for the kind words...sometimes I just need to put things into perspective when I feel like I might be slacking in one area...because in the grand scheme of things I'm really doing an alright job.