|Brian takes the "Be Kind, Rewind" |
slogan a bit too seriously.
I'm not even talking about the fact that he can't sit still and will often run in front of the TV repeatedly while jumping, flapping, and squealing.
He's now decided that he has to watch sections of movies over and over and over and over again....
That one phrase he thinks is funny, the one time the character falls down, or when they sneeze- he'll watch it for five seconds, rewind, watch the five seconds over again....it's ridiculous really.
It drives me bonkers and I don't even stay in there to watch it. I usually allow him to do it while I'm doing chores or catching up on daily notes for work. However, as much as it drives me insane, multiple that by 100 for Corbin.
Friday morning I was rushing around as usual, still with a towel on my head, packing lunches, with only about ten minutes left to go before we should be out the door (should being the operative word). I hear Brian doing his thing on the television. We have a house rule that there are no electronics before school, yet I was pretending like I didn't know it was going on because I was running behind and frankly I didn't have time for a tantrum.
Enter Corbin. He starts covering the buttons on the VCR and pushing Brian away so Brian can't keep rewinding the part. I yell out from the kitchen, "Just let him be Corbin!". Corbin responds, "But I want to watch the movie without him stopping it!!" I reply, "Please!!! You can pick a movie after school. Just let him do it!"
Corbin stops, I run upstairs to run a brush through my hair. Next thing I know Brian is screaming like someone is putting burning daggers into his eyes. I fly down the stairs to find Corbin tackling Brian to the ground to keep him from pressing the buttons.
And I lose it.
I yell, with that scary-mommy-look in my eyes.
"CORBIN!! JUST LET HIM DO IT!!!"
Corbin is staring at me with his lip quivering, just about in tears.
I think I'm losing my mind. Okay, maybe not my mind, but my patience. I have been working full-time, not getting home until around 6 most evenings, doing all the chores and homework, getting the boys up and going in the morning...you know, typical working-single-mom stuff- but then throw in the autism. I don't want to have that fight anymore. I don't want to have to either fight a tantrum every minute or bend my own rules to avoid a tantrum.
I don't want Corbin to have to deal with crap because I'm too lazy and rushed and strung-out to face that autism head-on. But I can't do it. I can't do it every time. And sometimes I just need him to let his brother watch the same five seconds of a movie over and over and over and over again.
I'm sorry, Corbin. I really am.