One Great Fall Day

Immediately pulling into Beth's Farm Market Brian starts crying from the backseat. I instantly want to melt-down. Come on. Another day that should be fun is going to be stressful and crazy thanks to this thing called autism.

I grudgingly pull myself out of the car and help him get unbuckled all the while trying to coerce him about how much fun we are going to have in the corn maze and on the hayride. He keeps crying. I don't know what's wrong. What's triggered this one?

Corbin runs to the nearest hay pile and I am sad thinking I'm not going to fully enjoy his excitement for our adventure. I'm definitely on the road of feeling sorry for myself.

Then Brian says "Potty?" in the midst of his tears. "Oh, you have to go potty?," I ask, excited we may actually figure out the root of this one. "Potty! Yes I do!" replies Bri-Guy. We run around the back of the farm to find the bathroom and he does his business and comes out with a smile.

I'm so glad that he is starting to be able to tell me what he needs.

The rest of the day went great. They climbed, jumped, and slid over tons of hay. We got lost in a corn maze and Corbin and Josh did their best to scare us. We went on a hay ride- which wasn't too much of a hit with Brian, but he survived it. We picked out some nearly-perfect pumpkins and had a treat of flavored-honey straws.

It was a great day that everyone fully enjoyed. You really can't take those for granted.

October 24th

October 24th. Eight years ago on this date, I was silently cursing my unborn son. It was my due date. And he wasn't showing any signs of coming out.

The following two weeks, yes, two weeks, were the longest weeks of my life. I was so anxious. I wanted to meet my little boy! I was ready. Room was painted, clothes were washed and folded, breast pump was ready to go, hospital bag was packed, etc., etc.

This is my warning post to you all that it's about to get sappy around here. I love my boys' birthdays, I do a lot of reflecting, plan big parties, and give them even more hugs & kisses than they usually have to deal with.

Sensory Awareness

October is also Sensory Awareness month. Way to go for me to finally post this with only a week or so left of the month. Better late than never, I suppose.

Sensory problems are very, very, very common in children with autism. But sensory processing disorder can occur on it's own, without autism. Sensory issues need to be understood, as they really can be the cause of many behaviors of many "typical" children and those individuals that have developmental disabilities.

I love this quote from Donna William, an adult with autism:

"I had always known that the world was fragmented. My mother was a smell and a texture, my father a tone, and my older brother was something which moved about. Nothing was whole except the colors and sparkles in the air. The lack of integration of my senses became the lack of integration of my emotions with my body and my mind."

We all have our own sensory needs- do you always chew on your pencil, or need gum or lifesavers? You may have oral needs. Do you constantly rock or fidget in your seat? Maybe your needs are vestibular. Do you crave big hugs and heavy blankets? Maybe proprioceptive is your thing. The list could go on and on, but if we are "typical" adults I'm willing to bet you have noticed these things about yourself and you have adapted your life to make sure you get this input. Children with these problems do not always know how to regulate these feelings or adapt their environments. Also where our eyes will eventually adjust to the bright light that bothers us so much, theirs may not.

To help occupational therapists can help plan a sensory diet. Of course, those of us in the game for a while are pretty good at knowing what our kids need already and giving them that. A sensory diet should typically follow the sequence of movement, heavy work/proprioception, a calming activity, and then the functional activity.


I have this great handout from a course module developed by Amy Delaney, MS, OTR/L that lists a lot of behaviors common with ASD and then sensory diet activities that can help work on that. Here's a few that Brian still struggles with.

* Hand flapping: from a sensory perception this would show your child is seeking heavy work to muscles and joints: you could do chair or wall push-ups; provide fidget toys; wear a weighted vest or blanket

* Difficulty maintaining personal space: could mean decreased proprioceptive and vestibular processing: Provide a cushion or carpet square that delineates the person's space; provide strong all-over-body proprioceptive input; strong movement like swings, ziplines, and sit and spins

* Visual stimulation (finger flicking in front of eyes, over-focusing on parts of toys, odd eye movements): Decreased vestibular processing and/or difficulties with visual perception: Provide strong, varied movement input; limit extraneous visual stimuli; perform activities that couple vision with movement (ex: targeting from a swing)



Another issue a lot of parents complain about is the dreaded BEDTIME! Brian actually 90% of the time goes to sleep without a problem and *knocking on wood* has been staying asleep since I've made all our changes following the Thoughtful House visit. But before that night-time waking was a huge problem.

Some suggestions from Lorna Jean King (whom some of us OTPs look at as one of the founders of sensory integration- she first noticed these problems in her clients who had schizophrenia) for bedtime is eliminating rough, rowdy, over-stimulating play a couple hours before bed- this includes television! Quiet activities for a period before bed. Also

*If a bath is part of the routine, do an extra five minutes of rubdown with the towel (unless they have tactile sensitivity like Brian)- use downward strokes.
*Lotion could also be used.
*Back-rub: start with the back of the neck and go down to the base of the spine, slow, rhythmic strokes
*Use a soft musical background that has a definite predictable rhythm.
*Does your child like stories? Use ones with strong rhythm and rhyme.
*Sleeping bag can be used to give a slight pressure along with warmth.


Hartley's Life with Three Boys has been celebrating this cause the whole month of October by featuring different families. She's trying to raise money and if you chip in you will be entered to win some pretty cool prizes.

Dotcomkari is giving away a weighted blanket on her blog- read the post to figure out how to be entered! But you better not win, because I want it. ;)

Hopefully this blog gave you some tips or new ideas and if you are ever interested don't be afraid to email and ask- I have so many handouts from different conferences I've gone to. I have no problem scanning and sharing!

End The Silence

Dr. Phil has me in tears today. Sure it's not too hard to make me cry but it definitely hit close to home today. Those young girls are telling my story. I was a mere 17 years old when I got involved in a domestic violence situation. I know I've briefly mentioned it here or there on my blog but it's really not something I talk about. I'm embarrassed by it. There is such a stigma around domestic violence.

Yet keeping silent about it is what makes the stigma remain. So people need to talk about it. Survivors need not feel embarrassed about it- why should anyone be embarrassed about being a victim? It's the abuser that should be embarrassed, not the victim.

Of course it makes sense that women like me have a hard time not feeling like it's your fault. You've spent years being told it is your fault- it's not just physical abuse that happens, it's this incredible mind-game that's played so you do think it's your fault, and if you just didn't do that, or if you did something better it would be okay.

Everyone should visit Dr. Phil's site on Breaking the Silence to inform yourself and to help inform others.

More on the "V" Word....

I really love fall but the one thing I don't love about it is that it is also "flu shot season". It's no secret that I'm in the "no vaccinating" camp and I try not to shove it down other people's throats so I wish they would give me the same consideration.

Neither of my boys or myself have ever had a single flu shot and none of us have ever had the flu.

Last year I was in shock when our school decided to have a flu shot clinic right in the middle of a school day. Of course, I didn't sign my boys waivers and I soon received a "Dangers of Not Vaccinating" sheet sent home to me. Puh-leeze. I just don't find it's the school position to give me crap about my medical choices. Brian not only has his pediatrician, but an OT, a speech therapist, a nutritionist, a chiropractor, etc., etc. that all don't give me crap, and actually agree with me, so why should I be hearing it from the school?

During the summer I was at the school with Brian just visiting his classroom as a preparatory measure. We were in the office and the school nurse came out to introduce herself. She repeated Brian's name and asked, "Why does that sound familiar?" I looked at her and said, "I'm sure we're red-flagged or something because we don't vaccinate". She stood silent for a minute and then finally said, "Oh yes, that's right, I remember now." And that was that.

The funny (ironic?) thing is Brian really is almost fully vaccinated. I didn't stop vaccinating him until after his third birthday- if I went ahead and had his titers checked I'm willing to bet he's probably immune to most of them anyways. But I don't ever mention it, I kind of like to see them squirm a little bit.

Lost Car Keys, Along With my Mind

Had a busy day today with chores, homework, then commuting to school to be a mentor for the first-year students, come home and pick up the boys, go to the grocery store, and come back out to my car to realize I have no freaking idea where my keys are.

How does one lose their keys somewhere from getting out of the car and coming back to it?

I have been racking my mind like crazy and I can't even remember taking them out of the ignition- though I must've, as they weren't there. I got out, helped Brian zip up his coat, carried him in, put him into the big part of the cart, all the while urging Corbin to finish texting Josh on my phone so he would stop walking into things. Try as I may, I can't remember in any of those steps what I did with my keys.

I got back out to the car and loaded both boys and all the groceries in and sat down to go and I couldn't find them. Took the boys both out (oh just imagine what an autistic child thinks about going BACK into a store that you just left) and retraced our steps. Left a note at the customer service desk and then admitted defeat and called Josh to come pick us up.

Then I just slumped into this terrible mood for the rest of the evening where no one could say a word to me without me biting their heads off. Over car keys. I'm so frustrated with myself and my inability to remember ANYTHING these days. And of course it was my only set of keys, so tomorrow, when I'm suppose to be in class I need to go to the dealer and pray they have a key I can purchase, instead of a whole ignition.

So I'm just gonna be mad at the world and be bitchy. In some strange way, it makes me feel better.

Sensory Seekers

In my house, sensory awareness rules! Funny this whole idea of sensory integration actually entered our family long before I had any worries about Brian. I had this crazy toddler, Corbin, and someone referred me to The Out of Sync Child books. Wow! The book seemed like it was written about him. I started to implementing a sensory diet with him and it really seemed to help him regulate himself.

Sensory integration was so interesting to me that I decided I wanted to go to school to learn more about it, hence why I'm in the Occupational Therapy Assistant program now. I was so excited that we really focused on it the first half of this semester. I had read a ton of books on it, provided sensory input for my children, and also carried over sensory diets with the kids at the preschool. In college, our professor really drilled it into our heads that the goal is to help the individual learn to adapt. Not change who they are, but make them aware of what input drives them crazy, what input they crave, and how they can adapt the situation or themselves so it doesn't interfere with their daily living.

Now both of my kids are sensory seekers- though they do have a few avoiding areas as well. But it's not too crazy around here (if you can look past the couch cushions in a pile, finger paint spills on the table, and the constant noise) because both of my boys really do have a ton of tricks to help them adapt. They both don noise-cancelling headphones when they are becoming overwhelmed, Brian has been known to bring me his deep pressure vest when he needs a little extra proprioceptive, they both ask to be squished when needed, and they have no fear of bringing out the therapy ball when their systems are asking for it.

The newest adaptation I saw made was this morning. Brian brought one of his chairs and put it on top of my big, soft, squishy bed. He then sat in the chair on the bed to watch our weekend cartoons. The chair on the bed was giving the same input as those crazy-looking T-stools give. If my eyes weren't opened to the world of sensory integration I would've just thought he was strange (okay so I still think he's a little out there sometimes) but I saw how having that movement and having to work to keep his balance kept him completely quiet during our cartoons. Usually he's rolling around, kicking his legs, and making all kinds of noises. Corbin soon followed suit with his own chair and it was the most peaceful cartoon-watching hour we've ever had!

By the way, what was your reaction for the first time you saw a T-stool? I pretty much laughed in our OT's face that my son would never be able to sit on that. Then she laughed in mine after he did a whole activity sitting on one.