A Hard Day's Night

*Phew* I don't want to move from a sitting position for hours. I want to do nothing- not even think.

Brian has had a hard two days. Both days he has come home from therapy and throws himself onto the floor- though Amber said he was fine at school. He then retreats upstairs and puts a movie on in my bedroom and snuggles in the blankets. He is completely quiet and content as long as he is in that bed with a movie on.

Yesterday we had errands to run- he cried when he heard it was time to leave. He cried getting into the car. First to the courthouse where the boys waited in the car with Josh. He cried the entire time. Secondly, to the library. Thought this would be a fun excursion- but no he went to the train table and laid underneath it crying. He didn't even choose a movie like he usually does. We had to go to the grocery store. I told Josh to run in really quick as at this point I knew it was pointless to try to bring him into another location. Again he cried the entire time. We got home- he ran into the house crying, threw himself on the floor, picked himself up and went back upstairs to where he proceeded to watch movies. An hour or so later I told him we were going to go for a visit and he cried again during the transition, cried for the first ten minutes of the car ride and then was fine. He really did quite well at the new house we were at and new distantly-related cousins he didn't know. I thought maybe that would be the end of it.

Today, he arrives home from school- same routine. He just wants to be alone upstairs. It's time for Freedom Riders. He needs to change out of shorts into pants for his riding lessons. Big BIG deal. After that I ask him to get his riding boots- he comes back with sneakers on. Again HUGE HUGE deal. He runs all the way to the car running and throws himself into the side of the van. He cries the ENTIRE 20 minutes it takes to get to riding lessons. He cries as we walk in, he cries when we have to wait, he cries getting his helmet on. He is just overwhelmed. The helmet is too tight (though it's the same one he always wears), the other kids are too noisy (even though in reality he's the loudest kid at the moment), he wants to watch the horses getting ready, but when I hold him up to the windows he kicks away screaming, I put him down, and he wants up again. He wants to be on my back (a very calming position for him), I do it for a while and then he's too heavy so he screams that I want to sit with him on my lap. He's flapping his hands at full speed and doing it next to the wall so his fingers are purposely hitting against the wall.

Then it's his turn.

He grabs his side-walker's hand, walks in, gets on Xanadu and is instantly smiling. He smiled the ENTIRE 45 minutes of his lesson. He was talking. He would look for me when he rode past the waiting area- when I waved to him he yelled out "HI!". It was awesome. He left, came home, answered Josh's question- "Did you have fun with the horses?" "YES!"

But then again he wanted to go upstairs and watch a movie- I told him no, he's had enough movies for the day. He's mad, he's just kind of wandering the house aimlessly, crying. And that's the rest of the night for the most part. He was happy in the shower and happy when he went to bed.

I completely hate when he has regressions like this. I don't know why he's so upset. I just want him to tell me. I want to know if his stomach hurts or if he is overtired. I want to make it better.

So, I'm off- not to relax like I really want to do- but to clean my house as I really didn't get anything done today.