Sunday, February 8, 2009

This is My Son...


















He is the one you see at the playground, not playing with the other kids. He is content to sit alone, and let sand fall through his fingers and onto his leg. He is the one running in circles, running under the occupied swings, and happily screaming really loud.

He is the child in the store, having a meltdown, and I can't always figure out why. His senses are stronger than my own. Everything is brighter and louder to him. The crowds of people are uncomfortable to him.

My child is the one who would rather switch the light on and off than sit down and play a game with me at the table. He would rather eat the crayons than color. He would rather walk around aimlessly with a train in his hand than to play with his brother.

He is the one that sometimes wears the special flimsy shoes and clothes with no labels because he is oversensitive to texture. He's also the one that walks around with that funny-looking vest on over his clothes. It's called a deep-pressure vest and it gives him the input he is always looking for.


He is the one who insists on sameness. He would watch the same movie over and over all day if he could. It wrecks his day when the rice pasta is penne, not spirals. He thrives on things being the same,and doesnt understand it when things change, or when mom can't find his favorite things.

My son is the one who can't express himself with words, so he uses crying, he hits himself, pulls his own hair, he shakes from being so frustrated, to express his anxiety. He jumps up and down, while flapping his arms, and releasing a really high-pitched squeal when he is happy.

but most important, my son is my son, and he is the boy who can brighten my day when i get that smile from him.

He is the boy I love to cuddle with on the couch when he's ready to do that.

He is the one that makes me see the world a little different, and makes me and everyone he knows realize that it's okay to be different,and march to the beat of your own drum.....


I am the mom who looks frazzled when i'm shopping.

I am the mom who walks away in a sweat after washing his hair, cutting his fingernails, or trying to, god forbid, give him a haircut.

I am the mom who will search the whole darn house for that one special train to make the crying stop.

I will watch that kid movie 5 times in a row, because it makes my son happy.

I am the mom whose entire planner revolves around therapies, doctor appointments, and IEP meetings.

I am the mom who sleeps, eats, and breathes autism. Who researches every aspect as thoroughly as possible to try to help my son reach his potential.

I am the mom who cried and cried when she first heard her three-year-old son say "Mama!"

I am the mom who can't go out of the house without checking our checklist- deep pressure vest, PECS, dynavox, GF snacks, change of clothes, trains, and his massager.

I am the mom who lives for those smiles and butterfly kisses!

Thank you, Brian.

6 comments:

Christina said...

That is a beautiful post!

minivan driving soccermom said...

That was beautiful Heather, and I LOVE that picture of him!

LetRVoiceBHeard said...

That's a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.

DynaVox | Mayer-Johnson said...

That is truly a remarkable and beautiful post. And the photo is wonderful and expresses so much what matters.

Thank you.

DynaVox | Mayer-Johnson said...

That is truly a remarkable and beautiful post. And the photo is wonderful and expresses so much what matters.

Thank you.

LetRVoiceBHeard said...

That's a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.